Avoid Oneitis: How to Stop Obsessing Over a Girl


Have you ever felt the struggled dealing with one particular girl you liked? Have you ever been in front of her but not able to open your mouth? You’d lose yourself when you stay by her trying to win her approval. You impress her, hoping that she would respond to you positively. There is a great chance she won’t.

Imagine that you go to a gym frequently, you spot a beautiful girl who you’re really fond of, but cannot come and talk to this girl straight away. Then you just stay out of her sight and can’t seem to approach her anyway due to the fear of rejection. Seeing her day by day, you cannot stop thinking about her, longing to be close to her and it makes you feel uncertain and nervous. If you are in this situation, you’re obsessing over the girl (a.k.a Oneitis)

In this article, I will show you how to avoid become Oneitis and create an odd to meet more beautiful girls. The key is to get rid of nervous feelings, then you should be able to approach women without scary thought that you’re chasing them away.

Develop your abundance mindset

Core thing to focus on is developing your abundance mindset. Intend to meet women as much as possible, rely on 1 girl only is a sign of scarcity mindset, while focusing on more of them will get you the freedom of choice for the outcome. When this girl doesn’t really like you from the beginning, you will be stuck in pursuing over and over again. Maybe she will treat you like a friend or brother (sad truth) and hang out with you for a while. But you cannot reach the ideal relationship because she is a selector and you’re “selectee”. And it’s just a matter of time before she finds another man, who only treats her half as well as you do, but this man will likely get in her pants, not you.

If your relationship with one particular girl doesn’t work out, you can find another one, eventually, who would be better and would be your truly match.

Don’t think that approaching more women indicates that you’re a jerk. These relationships do not necessarily have to be serious at all. Just be playful, relaxed, and most important thing is to be comfortable with women around.

Just remember, nothing in the world is scarcity, money, opportunity, women…So don’t limit yourself and never got a single chance to acquire them. There are always have more beautiful, sweeter girls are waiting for you to approach.

Focus on yourself the most, not on a particular girl

Remember, you need to care more about yourself instead of about one particular girl. Improve your mindset, body and dating game so that you can approach women without hesitation. Don’t just throw yourself in girl’s dramas or spend your entire time on making sure she’s alright. If you develop yourself well enough, find the balance between dating, business, and fitness, women will likely be crazy over you when you’re around, and will want you to care about her. Most importantly, you will become her one-of-a-kind treasure. She will feel the scarcity when looking for a guy like you. So in this case, the game is changed.


Focus on yourself. Don’t hesitate to walk away. Open your mind wide and far enough to notice more beautiful girls out there. These are the keys to avoid oneitis. Develop your abundance mindset to cure your obsession with girls first, then correct your mind to walk away without hesitation. Spend more time focusing on yourself and your transformation, discipline, and toughness. It will keep you busy all the time, to sharpen your sword in order to increase your success with women in general, not with one particular girl.


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